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How to Stand Up for Yourself

how to stand up for yourself, motivation for everyday life

Recently, I found myself in a situation where I know that I’m being exploited. I want to change this situation. In order to do so, I have to stand up for myself. I must.


I made this post as a little motivation and encouragement to myself to actually go about doing what I know I need to do, and also to help anybody else who also needs a little push, a little encouragement to not allow others to push you around. It’s important to know your true worth and to stand on your two feet and say what you have to say in order to make life better for yourself.


Here’s a little backstory about me:


  • I’m generally a reserved person
  • I don’t like conflict
  • I’m generally quiet
  • I like to follow rules
  • I obey authority (most of the time)


So I may seem like probably a perfect candidate to be pushed around. As I previously mentioned, I have found myself in such a position recently.


Now, in trying to give myself the motivation and encouragement that I need in order to say what I need to say to fix my situation, I found myself wondering in general – Why do people allow others to push them around?


There are the obvious reasons:


  • Perhaps we may feel afraid to say what we need to say in case that person who is exploiting us decides to do something even worse that may make things even more difficult for us.
  • The fear of rocking the proverbial boat – we may be afraid that if we were to rock the boat too much, we just may fall off, land in the water (splash!) and drown.
  • Some people want to be liked – they may want everyone they meet to like them. Quite frankly, I am not one of those persons. I don’t care if you like me or not. Well, of course to a certain degree I do care but I’m not going to be sitting around wondering, “Oh, I wonder if this person likes me? I wonder if I tell them how I really feel if they won’t like me anymore?” That’s just not me. I understand that this may be some persons’ view or personality but it’s not mine. In that case, it would be a valid reason as to why some persons allow others to push them around. They want to be liked. They don’t want to object. They don’t want to give their point of view because they are afraid that the other person would not like what they have to say. To me, it all boils down to self-confidence and knowing your worth.


How do we solve this problem?


  1. I would suggest that you surely go and rock the boat. Rock it. Rock it, rock it, rock it, until you fall out yes, but when you fall out learn to swim! There is nothing wrong with being in water. You swim! As opposed to being on the boat where you know that you’re going to be stabbed and subject to mutiny, and where you know that you will be at your end. Sometimes, it’s safer to be in the ocean than in the boat. In my circumstance, I think it is best if I jump into those waters and swim, swim, swim far away.


This may be the case for some of you; you would know your situation better than I would. But if you reach the point where you recognize that you are being exploited or someone is taking advantage of you, you want to change that situation and you know that you need to change it, well I would highly advise that you surely jump out of that boat and swim.


But then your question may be, “Oh, I don’t know how to swim – what do I do then?” To me, a major part of all of this is your attitude. Before, your attitude was one of fear – fear of changing the situation because you’re not sure of what may happen.


To change all of this you have to change your attitude. This applies to me as well. I know I have to change my attitude and I am actively working on it.


  1. You have to realize that you are a person who is worthy of being treated in a manner in which you deserve to be treated. No one is above you. No one should treat you less than you are worth. You have to know your own worth. You have to know that you are worthy of being treated properly. You have to understand that people will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. If you allow people to walk all over you and you say nothing about it and it’s a habitual thing, they will continue to do that. They will walk over you because you let them walk over you. If someone treats you like garbage and you let him or her do so, they will continue to treat you like garbage. They have no reason not to – they are getting what they want from you. Meanwhile, you are suffering not saying anything, not doing anything to change your situation. So they will treat you how you let them treat you.


I always have to remind myself of that. People will treat you how you let them treat you. You have to be the one to draw the line. You have to set the boundaries and say “Hey look, the way you are treating me right now, it’s not acceptable. I don’t like that. I’m a person who deserves respect. Just like how you want respect, you have to treat me with respect.” That’s how you should think if you want to change your current situation. If you are being exploited, you are not being respected.

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3.    Another thing I would suggest is to stop caring so much about what other people think. Just stop. You can’t afford to do that anymore. Don’t be concerned with what somebody else thinks about you. When you worry about that you will just be back in that situation of fear. You would be concerned about what your actions would do to them and if they won’t treat you how you like. But here’s the thing – they are already treating you in a way that you don’t like, so how could it get any worse? And even if it does get worse that should be a clear wake up call to you that you have to do something serious to get out of that situation. You have to realize your worth. And you are worth it. You are worthy of respect and worthy of being treated properly and how you deserve to be treated.


You have to be confident in who you are. Be confident. Know that you are worth it. You are worth proper treatment. If you want to be treated better, you have to be the one to make the change. So YOU have to treat yourself better. You have to treat yourself better before anyone else can treat you better. You have to rethink your attitude and think, “I am a person who is worthy of being treated properly. No one will walk over me anymore.” These are the things that I will be telling myself before I do what I need to do and say what I need to say in order to change my situation.


4.     In the end, you just have to be brave. It’s something that you have to find within yourself. You should be treated just as respectfully as the other person who demands the respect from you. If they can’t do that, if they refuse to do that after you make your case and tell them what you have to say, well cut ties. It’s their loss. Goodbye. Tell them “See ya!” And you will be on to greener pastures.


If this post is helpful to you please let me know. And just remind yourself that you are worth proper treatment. Don’t allow anybody to treat you any less than you deserve. So think: “I can stand up for myself. I WILL stand up for myself.” And you will do so. You will stand up for yourself.


Thanks for reading.


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  1. Cassidy. L
    June 4, 2018 / 10:16 am

    I’m really happy I stumbled upon this blog and wished I read this post earlier. Thank you for sharing your advice and experience, its something I can relate to. Looking forward to reading more of your blog posts!

    • gisellemills
      June 5, 2018 / 1:09 pm

      Thank you for reading! Glad you found it useful 🙂 Welcome!